Realities and Hallucinations
by afrah11
Summary: After being shot, Hotch finally gets the signal that he's been asking for. But is it really a signal or a hallucination?


A/N: I hope you like it :D Please let me know your thoughts on this. Thanks a lot!

Thanks to my friend and beta _Musiclover14 _, I honestly do not know what would I do without her help and support!

Disclaimer: I own nothing from this show.

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**Realities and Hallucinations**

Hotch knew their unsub, aka Steven Gallagher, was inside the old and decaying house, the construction was weak and he was afraid that something might go wrong. Of course they were all trained and they also had the element of surprise on their side, but still, something inside him did not feel right with the whole operation. And it was exactly, during these kinds of operations, that he was convinced that any type of relationship, beyond a professional one, with certain co-worker could never be possible. Either of them, or the both, could be killed in the line of duty and what would become of Jack or any other kid that might be involved then?

Sometimes, he thought about asking the heavens for a signal that might show him that he was not crazy and that a much deeper relationship with Prentiss, a romantic one maybe, was indeed possible. That was all he wanted, something that would tell him that this time things were going to work well for him in the heart department, because he was not willing to risk his heart again, not after what happened with his first wife and most definitely, not now that he had Jack's feelings to consider as well. Looking at her, with her hair up in a pony tail, gun in hand and in professional mood, reminded him of how much she means to him, but he shook his head, he needed to stop thinking about that. No matter how attracted he was to her and no matter how much he cared, that possibility was not a possibility at all. Period.

Gun in hand, he signalled Morgan and Rossi to take the back, JJ and Reid to take the first floor, while he and Prentiss will search upstairs. The steps were covered with a thin raggedly carpet that was covered with dust, he could tell as much. Once they reached the upper part, he and Prentiss split up, he heard the voice of Morgan through his ear piece telling him that the back part of the house was clear; the same words were spoken by JJ concerning the first floor and that only meant one thing, Gallagher was in one of the rooms upstairs. They both knew that they had to be quiet, they couldn't risk being spotted by the unsub. The guy was armed and dangerous and the last thing that he wanted, after all what has happened in the last couple of months, was for any members of his team, or himself, to end up being shot by a psycho.

From the corner of his eye, he saw Prentiss shaking her head in a negative gesture, the unsub was not in either the rooms that she has already checked. That left only two more rooms to go. Carefully he opened one of the doors and checked it only to discover that this one was empty as well.

Something in the pit of his stomach was screaming at him that he and Prentiss should leave immediately, but he knew that it was not a possibility, not without having Gallagher in custody. The guy had caused enough suffering in three states and it was obvious that they couldn't let him walk away. It would be like having Foyet on the lose all over again, if not worse and he was not willing to relive that nightmare. Truth was, nobody deserved it. Plain and simple.

He and Prentiss then positioned themselves at each side of the remaining door, the unsub had to be there and they had to be very careful. The guy was crazy and the profile told them that he was not willing to go down without a fight, and they barely got it wrong. Hotch opened the door in one move and was surprised by the image that greeted him. The unsub already knew that they were there and was waiting for the FBI to open the door. As soon as Hotch was inside, he saw Gallagher with a gun trained at him**. **He knew that he could not waste time, and he shot, but by the time he did it, the bullet that was fired from the unsub's gun had already hit him. Before he fell to the ground, Hotch heard Emily's voice screaming his name and all of a sudden, everything around him was in slow motion.

Their unsub was already on the floor, face down. Prentiss came close to Gallagher and kicked the gun away from him. Then walked to where Hotch was and felt her hand against his neck, checking for his pulse. Before passing out, he heard Emily's voice calling for him _Hotch? Hotch? Are you okay? God! Please keep your eyes open. Stay with me...Hotch!_ He felt Emily's hands cupping each side of his face. Hotch fought hard to focus on the sound of his partner's voice, to stay conscious; unfortunately, it was a battle that he lost seconds after having started it**. T**he last thing he was aware of were a set of two big brown eyes looking at him full of concern.

***

Hotch tentatively opened his eyes slowly. He noticed that he was lying down on his back, and he felt a bit tired and disoriented. He then turned his head to his left and was greeted by the light of sun beams entering through the half-open curtains. He groaned as rubbed his face with his left hand. _What was going on?_ He thought to himself.

'Wait a second! This cannot be!' He mumbled as he opened his eyes wide. The last thing that he remembered was being shot by Gallagher. What was going on? What was he doing on a bed? And in a very nice room? While he hadn't properly seen the rooms at Gallagher's residence, he was positive that it was none of the ones from the unsub's house.

Just when he was about to sit on the bed, he felt a presence by his right side. Carefully, he turned around and was greeted by the very same set of eyes that were looking at him before he passed out. The only difference was, that these eyes did not belong to a grown-up woman, but to a... three or four year old little girl?

_Oh yes! His mind was tricking him! Or maybe he was dead and went straight to heaven?_

He closed his eyes, shutting them tight, convinced that when he opened them up again, he was going to be back at the unsub's house, but when he finally did, he was greeted by the soft voice of the little girl currently seated on her knees by his side, her chubby hands resting on her tights.

'Are you okay, Daddy?' furrowing her brows, concern clearly written across her small features.

Not daring to take his eyes off of her, he slowly came to a seated position and rested his head against the headboard.

'What? Who is your daddy? Do I know you?' he couldn't understand _why was the girl calling him daddy_. The whole picture was very confusing and a bit scary.

'You are!' she answered excitedly, as if his questions were just part of a game.

Hotch started looking at his surroundings, the room was empty, except for the bed and two night tables and it was not familiar to him at all. As for the little girl, well, he was certain it was the very first time he saw her.

He then rested his gaze on her and took on her features. It was a very sweet girl indeed. Her dark brown, almost black, curly hair was pulled up into a pony tail, she had thick, long lashes framing her big dark brown eyes, chubby cheeks and small mouth. She wore a pink t-shirt and jeans and pink flip flops. It was obvious that the girl was pretty well dressed.

He shook his head in an attempt of making the image in front of him to go away, but it did not happen. Instead, the little girl started bouncing on the mattress, looking straight at him.

'Can we eat breakfast now?' she asked with a pout that Hotch found extremely cute.

'Are you sure you really know me'? he tried again

'You are my daddy' She nodded excitedly pointing her little finger at herself for emphasis.

The girl was sweet, there was no doubt about it.

'This is for you daddy' she said sweetly.

He took the piece of paper from the girl's chubby hand and then looked at what it said.

_I'm taking the boys with me. _

_We'll be back by noon._

_The removal truck won't be here until two. _

_Love you both. _

_E._

He tried to focus his attention on the note. The content did not make sense but the handwriting... he was convinced that he recognized it, but... from where?

Boys, removal truck...what the...! 'What is this?' his voice came harsher than he intended.

'A note daddy. Mommy asked me to give it to you' her voice was softer now, and she was biting at her lower lip. It was evident that the tone of his voice scared her.

'I am sorry, I did not mean to be harsh on you' The corners of his mouth turned up slightly, an attempt of a smile.

She gave him a wide grin in return, and it was then, that he recognized the dimples. They were the same that appeared on Jack's face when he smiled.

'I like it', she giggled and covered her mouth with one of her hands.

'What?' this time his smile grew wider, showing his dimples.

'Your smile. Mommy does too!' Her words were muffled by the hand still covering her mouth.

He could not believe how cute that small creature was.

'And what is your name?' This was way too confusing for him, but quite amazing at the same time.

'Julia, but you, mommy and Jack calls me Julie' She answered proudly.

'Jack?' He though for a second and then jerked his head when he heard his son's name. 'Do you know Jack too?' this was too weird and almost impossible to believe.

She nodded again and for a second he was convinced that she might hurt her neck with the movements. 'He's my big brother'

'And were you named after your mother?' He figured that information would be useful to determine who her mother was.

'Nooo! Silly daddy.' She answered shaking her head in a negative gesture.

'I am really hungry daddy. I am, really'

He nodded absentmindedly, looking around at the bedroom. He noticed a law book on the night table to his left and then he noticed something that caught his attention hanging from the lamp on the night table to his right. It was a blue Swarovski crystal butterfly charm.

He passed Julia and reached for it.

'Who does it belong to?'

'Mommy, but you knew that. She wears it all the time.'

'Yeah' he was still distracted looking at the piece of jewellery. Unfortunately, just like the little girl in front of him, it was the first time that he saw it.

'C'mon then' Julia dragged him out of the room, down the stairs and into the kitchen.

While making some instant waffles, he learned from Julia that they've just moved into the house, which explained the lack of furnishing. The house was practically empty, no pictures or any other object that might help him know who lived there. Except for the bed he was lying on when he woke up, the two night tables, the fridge and the microwave, there was nothing else. It wasn't until he spotted a picture on a fridge photo magnet frame where Jack, Julia and a baby were in, that he learned that Julia had a one year old younger brother named Matty. The three kids look very happy and that confused him even more.

Even when the note made more sense now, he still needed to know who the mother was. But there were no pictures except for the one on the fridge and apparently Julia was convinced that '_Daddy'_ was playing silly, because she was not willing to give him any more information. Because, according to her, he '_already knew'_.

After cleaning up the table, he spotted Julia sleeping on the floor, her head pillowed on her small arms. He couldn't but notice how sweet and innocent she looked.

A indescribable feeling invaded his chest. He walked towards her and bent down to pick her up. It was almost automatic, as soon as she felt his strong hands trying to lift her up, she wrapped her little shoulders around his neck. And he was surprised when he did not feel awkward about it, on the contrary, it felt right.

He climbed up the stairs with Julia in his arms, her head resting against the crook of his neck. He had no idea where to go, so he opened up every single door that he came across until he found the one he was looking for.

It was a beautiful room, the walls were painted in light shade of purple. It was a cozy room but he knew it was not ready yet. He wondered how would it look like once all the little girl's belongings were there.

Her bed was covered with a bedspread with large circles in various colours displayed on a pink background. He gently placed her on the bed and kissed her forehead, brushing a few strands of hair that were playing in her face.

'I love you daddy' she said sleepily.

'I love you too sweetheart' He surprised himself when he noticed that a smile was set on his lips and that he meant what he just said. He wasn't sure why, but he was convinced that he was already in love with the little girl.

Wandering around the house was a waste of time, no matter what he did, he was not going to find any clue. The place was empty, aside from some of the furniture, there was nothing. No pictures, no papers, no nothing. According to his watch it was 11:30, which meant that Julia's mother was going to be back in exactly 30 minutes or so, and then he was going to find out the truth, once and for all. If not from her, then from Jack.

Suddenly remembering the law book at the room he woke up in and knowing that there was nothing else to do, he decided to go to his room and read something for a couple of minutes.

The room looked exactly how it did before he left. If not for the charm, there was nothing that could give him a clue about the woman with whom, apparently, he had a happy family with. He sat on the bed and opened the book, after a couple of minutes he felt his lids heavy, he tried to shake the sleep away, but he found it impossible, and against his will, he succumbed to it.

***

He was woken up by the sounds of voices and noises in the background and he found himself being moved, but he was not walking, that much he knew. He tried to lift his head, but a young woman kindly asked him not to.

'Whe...where am I?'

'It's okay sir, we'll take good care of you'

'What?' He was even more confused now.

When he turned to his left, he saw those eyes again, but this time, he did not see them on a little girl's face, but on the face where they belong, his partner and subordinate Emily Prentiss, who was now biting her lower lip, her worry written all across her features.

'Hotch, it's me, everything will be okay' he felt her cold fingers squeezing his hand, and he squeezed hers back before closing his eyes again.

This time, when he woke up, he was at a hospital. He was told that the bullet did not cause mayor damage, but that he needed to stay overnight as a precaution.

Each member of his team came to visit him and they all explained what had happened after both his gun and the unsub's were fired.

He was told that Gallagher died at the scene, and even when he was wearing a vest, the guy shot him at a very close range which caused him to passed out because of the impact. The doctor explained that he was going to have some trouble breathing, but that he was going to be fine in a couple of days.

Once he was left alone, he couldn't stop thinking about Julia. He smiled softly as he leaned his head against the pillow. He was certain that it was all his imagination playing with him as a result of the impact, even when he doubted that he was ever going to forget about her.

***

A week later, he was the first one to come into the office, as per usual. He went straight to the kitchenette and poured himself some coffee into his mug. Life was finally back to normal!

'Good morning!' Came a familiar voice from behind.

He turned his head to look at her and returned the greeting.

'Good morning Prentiss'

'Oh! The coffee is ready! That is so great because I am positive I'll need a thousand cups of it if I really want to make it through the day,' she said with a wide smile.

He poured some coffee into her mug as well

'Thanks!' a small smile played on her lips.

'You're well...' he was about to reply when something on his agent caught his attention.

'What is that?' his eyes were wide open and she could read disbelief one each of them; and if it was not because she knew him well, she could've sworn that the man in front of her was surprised and...scared?

'What?' she asked, her voice startled, while looking at herself, trying to find what was what caught his attention.

'That!' he was now pointing at the piece of jewellery displayed on her neck. And suddenly his mouth went dry.

'Oh!' she smiled widely. 'It's a charm' she said shaking her head. But her answer did not seem to satisfy him since his eyes were still fixated on the object.

'Is it made of Swarovski crystal?' His eyes were now darting between hers and the object. He couldn't hide the feelings that the blue Swarovski crystal butterfly charm was causing to him. Anticipation and excitement. His heart was pounding hard and fast in his chest.

'Where did you get it from? Is it new? Because I do not remember seeing you wear it before' he said shaking his head, while trying hard to remember.

'As a matter of fact it is' she said, lifting one eyebrow and looking strangely at him. The last thing that she expected was that her stoic boss knew so much about jewellery. 'My father gave it to me yesterday. He said that it was a _late Birthday present_'' She answered with a snort and a roll of her eyes.

Noticing that the man in front of her was still in shock, she brought her eyes to rest on his. If she was reading him correctly, the man was desperately trying to make sense of something, but she was clueless as to what about exactly.

'Hotch are you okay? Because you do not look as if you are**.**' Her brows were furrowed and she reached out a hand to touch him.

'I'm fine Prentiss, I really am. In fact I think I am more than fine.' A smile crossing his lips as realisation washed over him.

'I'll... I'll be in my office.' And with no further explanation, but with a wide dimpled smile, totally uncharacteristically of Hotch, he left.

She turned and followed him with her gaze. She couldn't understand, one second he was surprised and the next one he was...smiling? she shook her head. Maybe she was not the only one feeling slightly off that day.

The End.


End file.
